Why Your LinkedIn Messages Keep Getting Ignored And What to Do Instead

If people keep ignoring your LinkedIn networking messages, the message itself may be part of the problem. Generic introductions, vague coffee chat requests, and copy-pasted outreach are easy to ignore. But after building LunchME and watching thousands of professional invitations get sent, we think there is another problem that gets much less attention: even a good message can ask a stranger for more than it gives them a reason to say yes.

That matters because sending a message takes very little time, while replying could eventually mean giving 20 or 30 minutes to someone you don't know. A better DM can improve the odds. It cannot completely solve that imbalance.

Forbes is right about why a lot of LinkedIn DMs fail

Sarah Hernholm's June 2025 Forbes article makes a useful distinction: many young professionals fall into the LinkedIn template trap. Better outreach gives context, shows a genuine connection, and makes a clear, specific ask. Asking one question is easier to answer than immediately asking a stranger for 30 minutes.

The problem isn't always the message. Sometimes it's the exchange.

Imagine you are a student trying to break into product management. You spend 15 minutes researching a PM and send a thoughtful, specific message. For you it may be one of the most important messages of the week. For the recipient it is one more decision competing with work, meetings, Slack, email, friends, and family.

The cost of reaching out is extremely low. The potential cost of saying yes is much higher. That gap is becoming larger as AI makes personalized outreach easier to produce.

Networking has an intent problem

People are good at finding the people they want to meet. Discovery is no longer the hardest part of professional networking. Showing genuine intent is.

“Would love to grab coffee sometime” does not communicate very much anymore. The sender may genuinely want a relationship, or they may be sending the same request to 50 people.

What changes when the coffee invitation is real?

LunchME started with a simple idea: instead of telling someone that you would love to buy them coffee, actually invite them for coffee. LunchME is a professional networking app where you can invite someone to meet for coffee or lunch, with an amount intended to cover the other person's coffee or meal as a small thank-you for their time.

It isn't about paying someone to talk to you. It is closer to saying, “I'd love to learn from you. Coffee is on me.” The difference is that the intent is visible before the meeting happens.

An actual invitation communicates something slightly different: I picked you, I genuinely want to meet, and I recognize that I'm asking for some of your time.

Sometimes the person you should invite is the hiring manager

Students and early-career professionals are often taught to network through a long chain of people. Warm introductions are valuable, but sometimes it makes sense to reach out to the person you actually want to know.

If you have a good 30-minute coffee with someone, you are no longer just another name in an application system. Some LunchME meetings remain a single coffee. Others become friendships, professional relationships, internships, or jobs. A connection and a relationship are not the same thing.

So, should you stop sending LinkedIn DMs?

No. LinkedIn is incredibly useful for discovering the right people. Give people context. Make it obvious why you selected them. Find genuine common ground. Be clear about what you want. Start with a small ask.

A good message is still better than a bad one. We just don't think copy is the entire answer. LinkedIn can help you find the person you want to know. LunchME is trying to make the next step easier: send a real invitation, meet over coffee or lunch, and see whether there is actually a relationship there.

Because the outcome you wanted was probably never a LinkedIn reply in the first place. You wanted the conversation.